Executive Golf Magazine

The Grove may be within spitting distance of Watford but that hasn’t precluded it from establishing its reputation as one of the country’s finest courses.

Reviewing a golf course is not quite the doddle it may appear. Oh, there are harder tasks in life – brain surgery, Home Secretary, emptying my dustbin – but still when one considers the time, effort and hard cash that goes into the creation of a course the opportunity to frivolously ruin several people’s day with a piece of glib criticism is always within easy reach.

To try to avoid this I rarely actually criticise in a harsh manner. I’ll throw in the odd reprimand where justified but for the most part there are very few courses that are not worth some kind of effort to play. If they are really, really bad I don’t write about them at all. This is an imperfect system but, for me, it works.

All the above said, therefore it is a pleasure to report my impressions of The Grove in Hertfordshire. If there is a criticism to offer then it might be that I once ordered a glass of ’75 Pinot Grigiot in the bar that wasn’t quite chilled to perfection. I happened to mention this and the bartender immediately offered me a replacement. Of course, I drank them both.

Anyway, before we get to the course itself let me rabbit on a little about the place. The Grove, as hopefully you are well aware, is not just a golf course but a splendiferous hotel and much more. Situated five minutes away from Junctions 19 and 20 of the M25 what we have here is a zillion pound facility that is within easy reach of the centre of London.

The hotel is a combination of old (19th Century manor house) and brilliant new. There are 227 rooms and it is expensive. The reason it is expensive - check out the website www.thegrove.co.uk - is that it is wonderful. The service is relentlessly and effortlessly pleasing, the food is terrific and the rooms themselves are metro-chic super. Dotted all around are quirky works of art that are both aesthetically pleasing and fun.

“So not much negative criticism then but this is because The Grove is as damn near perfect a day out for golfers as it gets”

Plus every room comes with a 42-inch plasma screen telly that only takes a few hours to work out how to use. There is a spa, a deep, black swimming pool (honest) and much more besides. No wonder the England football team were booked in prior to the World Cup. The chance of missing out on this stay is probably why Wayne cried so much after snapping his foot.

Whether Sven allowed the lads to play golf was not certain at the time of writing. The placid Swede is not known to be a golf lover – though he is known as a lover – but he should encourage Becks and the rest to spend a few relaxing hours on this Kyle Phillips masterpiece.

Phillips is arguably the foremost designer of his generation, tied in my opinion with David McLay Kidd. Phillips has designed more than 20 courses to date including Royal Westmoreland in Barbados and the compellingly beautiful Kingsbarns links just outside St Andrews. To each course he brings an eye for detail and a philosophy that he sums up thus: “A good design should help players experience the course with all their senses.”

In this, Kyle has grasped the nettle because golf is not just about the game, it is about a brief commune with nature, social interplay, periods of deep introspection and reflection and, of course, decently chilled wine. Some designers, god help them, think we are only interested in the quality of the grass.

But if you are interested in the grass then let me reassure you that the green stuff at The Grove is as near perfect as Rodriguez’ Guitar Concerto or any Jimi Hendrix riff. The greens – bent grass here – are, at their best, the nearest I have encountered to the slippery slopes of Augusta. To be fair, they are not quite as challenging but then nowhere is. When I played Augusta I putted off four greens during my round. Which is quite good.

“The greens are, at their best, the nearest I have encountered to the slippery slopes of Augusta. To be fair, they are not quite as challenging but then nowhere is”

I’ve never putted off a green at The Grove although the little sod otherwise known as the fourth hole once encouraged a four-putt from 10 feet. Play it and you will understand why. So let me throw a few stats at you: the course is a 7,152 yard par 72 and this will be stretched a bit for Tiger and Phil and the others when the World Golf Championship is staged here in September this year.

Not much stretching though. Length is important at The Grove but, as ever, placement off the tee and then on to the green is more important. All they will do for the pros is to grow in the rough, razor–cut those greens and then the European Tour guys will place the pins on the far side of damn near impossible. It should be fun.

It wouldn’t be like this for you, of course. Challenging, yes, but not daft. From the moment you hit off the first tee to the opening, short par four that comes with a green tucked away to the left and guarded by this, that and several bunkers to when you reappear on the wildly difficult last hole, another par four but, for me anyway, a six, the emphasis is on having fun.

You will, believe me. There are several gems on this course. My favourites, however, are: the third, stroke one, and a 446-yard par four with a green fronted by a small lake; the fourth, a tiny par three that replicates the 12th at Augusta in many ways and the long par three 13th where you get to stand on top of the hill and look down on both the green and the valley through which much of the back nine meanders.

Getting back out of this valley without the aid of a buggy can be a challenge to those of us who regard gyms as an unnecessary use of real estate but even while clambering back up towards the end there is fun to be had over a stretch of holes that offer triumph and disaster in roughly equal measure.

And once back at the golf clubhouse that is sited in what used to be the estate’s stables when the Earl of Clarendon was inviting Queen Victoria and Lord Palmerston around for a cup of tea there is a fastidious but unfussy welcome back to be enjoyed from golf director Blyth Reid and his dedicated team of helpers.

So not much negative criticism then but this is because The Grove is as damn near perfect a day out for golfers as it gets. It won’t actually achieve perfection, however, until they dig up that fourth green and make it easier for mere mortals like myself. I’m not holding my breath on this one. Give yourself a break and have a go.

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